Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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