The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
