He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
