Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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