i permit you to call me
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
