Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
