yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Your dad touched me again.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize