I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
