i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my being single is dangerous.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
