Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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