so explain again why im purple
no
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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