i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
