A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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