I'm really into asian looking animals
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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