I'm going to jail i love you
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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