We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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