If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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