Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
