I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
