grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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