I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
