also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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