Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
