Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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