my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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