Pappa wants mamma naked
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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