Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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