if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
