i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
