i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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