May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
