these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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