I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Mom said you looked used
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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