I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
