Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
