oh god the rape fog is back!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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