Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

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(770): View more from Georgia

next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.

Fav 22 1710 3177
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(979): View more from Texas

I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

Fav 35 1334 4662
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!

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(702): View more from Nevada

Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.

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(219): View more from Indiana

The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.

Fav 2 1125 1898
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(648): View more from

Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.

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(727): View more from Florida

I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move

Fav 3 717 472
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(713): View more from Texas

Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!

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