I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
