sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
MIDGETS
????
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
