Heybabeimwearingurpanties
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Two words: blizzard sex
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
