I wish I could teleport
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
