Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
