What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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