I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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