You're my little dorito
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
