My underwear smells like fireworks.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
