Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
