LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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