you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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