haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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