Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wish there were birth control emojis
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
